Since I began my study of the cross of Christ, my life has changed. My physical body, my soul-life (mind/will/emotions), and even my spirit are stronger and more aligned with the promises of God.
Unfortunately, in the same proportion to my new-found freedom and strength, I am also facing a blockage of some sort in my body in relation to the cancer that has made my bad days worse.
So much so that I was tempted to begin questioning how God would see me through this obstacle. While I was having a particularly hard time the other night, I was trying to grasp what Oswald Chambers was teaching in his devotional My Utmost for His Highest. You can read the whole thing here.
This is an excerpt from the reading:
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me . . .” —Galatians 2:20
These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself.
God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus.
Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, “. . . for My sake” (Matthew 5:11). That is what makes a strong saint.
I was in so much pain that I could hardly concentrate but the words that echoed the most in the writing were in the statement that followed: “I must be broken from my own understanding of myself.”
So that is where I am. Trusting Him to be my understanding. Continuing my study of the cross, and excited about all He is doing in my life.
The new blog project has turned into a challenge, but it feels like God has given me a fresh canvas and I am somehow painting a vision for the future.
Maybe some of you are being liberated of yourself as you learn to trust Him with your giants.
Here is how Oswald continues his teaching on Galatians 2:20:
Has that breaking of my independence come? All the rest is religious fraud. The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come?
I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— “I have been crucified with Christ . . . .”